I am very upset for two main reasons.
- It's over. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Finally got to experiment with Shakespeare and met so many great people. I can't even begin to describe how closely knit the cast got this year. You know, some seniors keep saying "why can't time move faster? Why can't high school just end already?" They obviously are not a part of the theatre department. I keep want to extend my time at SFS as much as possible. It is filled with wonderful people and wonderful experiences that I want to prolong any time I have with them as much as possible. Really going to miss this in college. I'm not going to be one of those people that can't leave high school behind though. I'm just going to make sure that the memories I make here won't be looked at with regret, but happiness.
- My face wasn't on the poster nor was it on the ticket. I have a beautiful face and it therefore deserves to be seen by other people. I guess Christian deserved his five minutes of SFS fame though. I'll let you have this one Chris. I'll let you have this one.
As an actor, I've learned so much from my experiences with this cast and with this production. I had the joy of playing what many would argue to be the best character in this play to act as, Mercutio. And I would have to agree with them. He's certainly different. Really different. I don't know exactly how do describe him. Capricious in nature for sure. A genius. A joker. A sardonic drunkard? A boy who has faced some terrible things, but covers it up with wit and genius? Those are just some ways I would describe Mercutio.
I was definitely insecure playing this guy. I mean he's supposed to be the smartest guy like in all of Shakespeare's plays. Some people say that Mercutio had to die midway because if his presence remained till the very end, the focus would shift from Romeo to Mercutio. This is speaking from the literary aspect - I'm not saying that I would have outshined Christian or anything. He's a greater acting force than me any day I think. I
Back on track - my process with Mercutio... It took a while. I would say it took up to maybe the last two weeks? I just couldn't wrap my hands around who this character was and to be frank, I did not enjoy the performances of either Mercutio in the two films I saw. He also wasn't a character that I know on a personal basis. I don't know any geniuses personally who were tortured as children and views everyone else on a platform below them. I mean I guess I know some overly arrogant people that think they're too good for the world, but they're usually the biggest bimbos the world has to offer. Humility children. Humility.
I mean, I'm still not content with my portrayal of Mercutio looking back on it even though random people came up to me and lauded my performance (have to have a little bit of arrogance mixed in with the humility right?). I actually didn't understand why I warranted praise though; that was not what I was expecting. I was expecting to be swallowed up by my death and ultimately overlooked because of the immense talent of both Christian and Georgia. Still confused because I truly believe that I did not do justice to the character; he's such an amazing character. I mean I thought I did well, but not to the extents that I was complimented. It may have been due to the genius of Mercutio.
I think a part of my discontentedness with my character was because I didn't necessarily feel like I became him at many points during the play nor when I was actually playing him did I feel like I had a lot of intention. I would contemplate how to say a line or a word and what action I wanted to do with the phrase for long periods of time in my bathtub (where I get all my memorization and notes done), but during the actual process, my mind fogged up and all that came out of my mouth was words with no meaning behind them. I mean it wasn't like this all the time; I guess I was just disappointed I didn't implement my thoughts to action. I think saying it out loud during my rehearsal time at home would have helped. I mean I did say things out loud, but more whispered them and never went full out. I'm really insecure surprisingly. I would never ask my family or anyone for that matter to run lines with unless it was for the sole purpose of memorizing lines and not the intonations. I guess that's something I should change for next time.
At the end of the day, I felt that I should be much more emotionally involved in my character. I mean I saw people like Daniel and Christian who left the stage drenched in tears and sweat because they were so invested in the emotion they were exhibiting. Maybe our acting styles are different, but I would like to someday venture into some intense emotion on stage. And I think I'd be able to. I think I would just need to spend more time reflecting on my own character and the character I'd be depicting. But at the same time, I don't think Mercutio would have been a person to be extremely emotional about his own death. I think he would more be frustrated that his entire life - filled with endless possibility - had just ended. So in many ways, I think reflecting on it now, I did a pretty good job, just not one that I'm extremely content with.
I was extremely glad that we did Shakespeare this performance. The language is mesmerizing and I think every actor should experiment with Shakespeare at least once in his life to understand rhythm and poetry in language. Shakespeare's language and words are poetry and by maintaining a melodious rhythm and tempo through it, it's such a spectacle. As an actor, I've learned so much about my own ways of acting, tempo, musicality in the script, subtext... It was such a great experience for me.
As for the cast bonding, I've never felt so depressed after a show ending and coming together with these talented underclassmen has been something like a miracle. So much of the time, seniors like to put themselves on a pedestal saying "I'm way better than you." This year, there was none of that and I think we were the most welcoming seniors I have ever seen. I guess I'm biased, but I truly believe that.
This production finally had an immense impact on my passion and love for theatre. I mean I always loved it, but now I've cultivated a love for it that makes me consider theatre in my future life. Maybe not for my future career, but definitely for further study and involvement. It's such a special thing and with the arts dwindling perhaps especially in theatre, I think we should fight to keep it alive. SFS, stop putting your focus on sports and academics and try looking at the arts as a major part of students' lives for a change.
Though a painful journey, it was such an immensely rewarding one.
To leave, here's a video of our teaser and some scorched moments:
- When Sarah sings -- anytime she sings.
- Sabrina's enraged argument for why Romeo must die. Sabrina's reaction to her daughter's death.
- The balcony scene - such love in the two.
- Juliet's exercise monologue as well as her monologue before she takes her potion. Georgia's a force.
- Christian and Annie's scene after he finds out he was expelled from Verona.
- Christian's fight with Sammy
- The girls when they yell 변태, 미친놈 to David.
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